Friday, September 30, 2011

"There's a hole in the wall it's a dirty free for all."

So I actually did all my english homework (yay!) and have time to do a quick blog about pre-cal. We had a test this morning. I most likely failed it, cause math is dumb. It was over like, assmatoes (that is so spelt wrong) and X and Y intercepts. Through "learning" about this stuff we always had the topic of holes in the graph coming up. In case you're wondering, there is a hole in the graph when factors of the numerator and denominator cancel out (whadd up!?!) so as you may have guessed from above everytime the question "find the hole in the graph" comes up on a quiz, test or when i seldomly do it, my homework, the only thing I can thiknk of is take it off by k$. "There's a hole in the wall it's a diry free  for all" and  basically it gets stuck in my head and all i want to do is sing it. but i cant cause were in school. but i love this song, just for its obvious reasons. and also have you seen the video? she's in an old pool and people are turning into like, sand glitter or whatever. It's just so awesome.
OH and i take the SAT tomorrow, or rather, I find out how dumb I am because let's face it. The SAT is created by a bunch of bitches who don't have anything better to do.
seriously, the find faults with everything. aside from the fact the math problems are IMPOSSIBLE, the english section is the worst. You have to guess like a mofo. Like this sentence "Demetria and Sarcandra went to the grocery yesterday to buy milk for their grandmother who was dying." think there's nothing wrong with it, right? WRONG. there is, cant you tell it should be were going to the grocery store and not went? cause that just makes sense, duh. even though the sentence was perfectly understood to me. and the choose the werdiest names for people, so it throws your focus off and all you can think is "what awful parents would actually name their child that?"

Monday, September 26, 2011

You can tell Jesus, that the bitch is back.

So as you may have guessed from my tittle, Gossip Girl is back tonight. Which I'm excited for, but also very disappointed in myself. I mean I'm 18, why am i still watching this show? it's like Pretty Little Liars all over again! It's still  a good show that has it's hella dramatic moments, like last season when Chuck smashed that window when he was yelling at Blair and that little piece of glass grazed her check and she started to bleed. fuck it was intense. or when they showed us Serena's flashback to boarding school and she was drunk and dancing to Crank That by Soulja Boy. ahhhhhhhh season 4. I miss JHump (jenny) she may have been a gross racoon whore who slept with chuck, but she setill added something to the show that's hard to replace.

WHERE IS KE$HA!?! it's been months and I haven't heard a damn thing from her! I looked on wikipedia and she isn't dead. She finisehd her Get Sleezey tour (I'm so pissed she cancelled her Indy concert...) I miss her and her cleverly dumb lyrics. Like, what is a hole in the wall? and how hardcore do they go? and what excatly is "it" that one is suppose to take off? according to wikipedia she's working on a new album, but this chick needs to release something soon or I'll lose intrest. We're talking a sould 4-5 month window here K$. Don't pulla GaGa and have me wait FOREVER for something new and promise me it'll be "the album of the decade" and then have it suck. Born this way? more like, you're a lying bitch who shouldn't be alllowed to preform every again, ever. Don't fuck it up, k$.

book wise, I finished The Beautiful and Dammned. It was pretty good. basically a lot of shit happpens. Anothony gets drafted to the army and has an affair with this chick named dot and then he kills her and Gloria breaks up with him, he inherts his millions and buys a boat blaw, blaw, know how it goes.

speaking of scandals! Desperate Housewives! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! that was so awesome last night!
*spoilers after this point, but seriously, do you even care*
So all the girls went and buried Alejeadro,Gabby's step-father who raped her, in the woods. It was pretty bad ass. cause before that Gabby was all crying cause Carlos killed him and she was like "my husband will have to go to jail" and Bree was all "that won't happen." and that moment was so fucking bad-ass cause Carlos found out Bree's son Andrew had ran over and killed carlos's mother in season 1 and carlos was all pissed at her and was going to send her to jail. So that moment was like, so awesome. I think about it now and am getting goosebumps! oh it was good! and susan is all emo now. Which I'm fine with, I've wanted that bitch to die since like, season 3. Lynette and Tom are  getting divorced and it's so sad! they were the happiest couple out there! and where the heck are Bob and Lee!?! anyways, at the end of the episode Bree is walking home with her new cop boyfriend and she notices her mailbox is open and there's a letter inside of it. I mean we all knew what was going to happen as soon as we saw the mail box open, but she opened it and it said:

"I know what you did.
It makes me sick.
I'm going to tell."
after that scene I was all like "HOLY FUCK! WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT!" but yeah, that's why i didn't do my pre-cal homework and why i most likely failed the test, whatever. Math is dumb.

okay, i think thats all....

also, It made me really happy to see Liz blogging, it made me feel less lame to know that SOMEBODY else is blogging.

well there's still twenty minutes left in this god-awful study hall.....
I'm so exicted for Christmas this year (Xmas for short.) Like oh my god. Hot Coca, CANDY CANE GRAMS, jingle bell rock, old 40s and 50s xmas songs, BLACK FRIDAY, possibly a ke$ha xmas song? I'm so exicted! I'm going to buy Xmas sweaters and watch The..the..the..the... THE GRINCH! can anybody else Belive Taylor Momsen was Cindy Lou Who!?! It's hard to belive THAT turned it THHAT

plus 12 years


This is what happens when we don't enforce reading enough in public schools!

BACK TO XMAS! I'm so excited for it! mostly cause I LOVE THE MOVIE ELF! and Zooey Deschannel is in it, I know Liz thinks that's her worst role, but I mean come on, Did you SEE Bridge to Terabithia?  AND all the XMAS episodes of FRIENDS and HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER! and Chirismukah on The OC! I wish i had some Xmas music on my Ipod, but I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry is good enough, right? oh my god i want hot chocolate, or those one cookies. I WANNA DECORATE A CHRISTMAS TREE! I want to celebrate Xmas with k$, Regina George, Darth Vader, and all the Harry Potter characters, minus Ron cause he's a cotton head ninimuggins. CHIRSTMAS.
fuck thanksgiving, that hoilday is dumb. I hate it, personally. I mean we eat and then what? I don't even like turkey that much, and mashed potatoes are nasty. let's skip Thanksgiving and go straight for CHRISTMAS.

oh look the bell's going to ring.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

They were real that day i wore a vest! BECAUSETHATVESTWASDISGUSTING.


Here is litterally an in-depth analysis of my day, you might get an idea of how my mind works, but really, my mind is like this big-ass long myspace chain mail that never fucking ends......

I wake up every morning at 4:46, but dont get out of bed till like 6. It takes a long ass time for me to wake up. Every day i have a diffrent song i wake up to. Some days are more set in stone then others but there is
Sk8er Boi Tuesday, What The Hell Wednesydays, and Complicated fridays. The rest are a dirty free for all.
After i wake up I get fresh and go upstairs. I grab myself some juicy juice and drink it cause juicy juice is fucking delicious. then i drive to school and do school stuff like learn about math, dinosaurs and spanish and shit. I equally hate all my classes the same (excpet theatre arts cause its fun) but the one i hate the most is french. cause freshman are idiots. Like not even kidding, its not that hard to put your name on your paper and not talk when directions are being given. Plus they're all ridick. immature. Like today this one kid was like "dude, wouldnt it be cool if they made an after school club that taught you curse words in other languages!?" if my eyes rolled back any further in my head, id be fucking blind as a bat. but id be okay with that cause bats use echo-location and echo-location is the shit.

 I walk through the halls a lot at school and ive made a list of the top  8 things i think about the most in the halls.

1. Gossip Girl or Pretty Little Liars
2. How sweet It'd be in Buffy came in right now and slayed a bunch of vamps.
3. My classy Fitzgerald novels and what shits gonna go down next.
4. Some dramatic event just transpired and Amy Winehouse songs are playing in my head.
5. how much i miss The OC
6. It's snowing and we get a half day.
7. Does she even go here?
8. This place ISNT Hogwarts

Sometimes, i get bored during class and ask to use the restroom. I dont actually have to use the restroom cause our restrooms are fucking nasty. but i like to roam the hallways and pretend im regina geroge or some other bitch and im about to ruin some lives or cause some  drama.

Then after school i practicipate in my constructive after school programs. After these constructive programs i get into my car (Which has like, four names and i cant think of one to settle on.......) and blair some music. If it's been a rough day i like to listen to "Don't let me get me" by P!NK. cause that song is tragically beautiful. Or if im ticked ill blast my scream-o mix. other than that it's a wide choice of what i might listen to. Avril, Amy, Black Soul pandora? WHO KNOWS! im in control!

i go home and take a nap cause im sleepy. then i do all my hmwk, minus pre-cal cause i just dont get that shit at all. Like seriously, math is dumb, and i dont care how uneducated and dumb that sounds it is.

then i sleep....or blog.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

You can put a pig in make-up but you can't disguise a skank

So for the past few days I've been thinking how great it would be to be whore. Not your classy "a whore is for private" whore, but your "that girl needs structure and jesus" kinda whore. There (notice how i spelt their wrong, cause whore rule number 1 is ignore basic rules of grammer while online) lives seem so simple and relaxed. So this is how my day would go if I were a ho.

I'd wake up literally five minutes before I had to leave for school. After a long ass night of myspacing this whore is tired and needs her beauty-ass sleep. After my alarm goes off I finally roll out of bed (literally.) I walk over to my closet that is over-flowwing with PINK clothing and heels. I look at my shoe pile and need to chose either my black converse sneakers that look like they got gang-banged by an elephant or my sandals that look like they got hate-fucked by Charlie Sheen. I choose the sandals, tying shoes is just too much work. I throw on my classy ass sandals and pull my plaid jammie pants as high up as they go. I decide i should change out of the gross wife-beater tank top I have on and put on something a little more classy. I pick the shirt with Lil Wayne on the front.OH and i can't forget my jacket. Nevermind that it's 95 degrees outside. After I've gotten fresh and went downstairs, I grab my breakfast of champs. Doriotos and RedBull. This whores gotta stay alert! I walk to the very nice car my parents bought me because they had high hopes for me. HA losers! I pull out of the drive-way, running over a bitch or two, and speed off to school blarring some awful rap song that nobody's ever heard of. Cause not only am I a classy as fuck whore, I'm a hipster too. I look at the clock and relize its 7:23. I don't have to be at school for like ever! So i deicde to grab a Micky D's Sweet Tea. Cause It's says "don't be fooled by the fact I'm wearing my dad's pajamas I'm drinking tea, which makes me classy." I arrive at school and grab my garbage of folders and earth science book from my car. Even though I'm a senior. I'm still in earth science, this shit is just to difficult to understand, twice. Its 7:27 and I have about three minutes to talk to my "friends" after we talk shit about all of our bestfriends and what happened on Jersey Shore, I finally walk over to my earth science class. Which when people ask me what it's about I respond with "I dun-oh how rocks fuck and shit." (I'm not lying, I HAVE heard that before.) So after about seven minutes of learning how rocks do it. I fall asleep on my desk. Nevermind the fact I just had a redbull and half a sweet tea, I'm tired and school sucks. After I wake up from my rockin' nap (get it?) I go about the rest of my day. Which is pretty much the same as earth science. staying awake for like seven minutes, then falling asleep on-top of my book and folder and eating Cherrios or some sort of breakfast cereal from a plastic baggie. Finally after my Algebra semester 2 class I'm taking for the fifth time, It's time for lunch. Which consists for me of; three cookies, a propel, a pop-tart, and some sort of stratchy potato substance. After my healthly lunch, It's time for more Algebra! and by Algebra I mean nap, come on you saw my lunch I'm fucking tired. Even though I drank half my friends monster. After some more class periods of sleeping and getting sent to ISS for sleeping by tenth hour I'm FINALLY woken up. Which is great cause it's study hall and I gotta text my whores and talk about my dramatic life with complete strangers. I tell them how "dis du' I like named Nick be acting like a DICK to me all the time, n  we hu'g dis weecn and went to Shalya's partay and I was all grinden on dat dude and dis slut name Kim all came up and jacked him from me so i threw a punch at dat C U Next Tuesday and gave her a black eye and bloody tuufh. Then some bitch call the cops and I hadda sit in jail for battery, assault, underage drinking and breaking and entering cause the party was at this girls friend's neighbor's house and she diden evn knaw. So then my step-dad bails me out of jail. It was so retarded." then the bell rings and I go home and sleep, wake up at like 9. drink a red-bull. eat cake. get on myspace. watch MTV. fight with my boyfran. sleep. do it all again tomorow.

Monday, September 5, 2011

If Harrison High School were US Weekly I'd always be on the cover


1. I love Harry Potter.
2. Rocky Horror is my favorite movie.
3. Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse tie for favorite artist of mine.
4. I still like Britney Spears and dont care what crap you have to say about her.
5. I love Fitzgerald novels.
6. I love October and Decemember. Novemeber sucks.
7. I actually have grown to love my middle name Frank (Frank-N-Furter, Amy Winehouse album "Frank," Frank Sinatra.)
8. I wish I were a teenager in the 90s.
9. I cry during Christmas movies.
10. I hate math.
11. I collect/love VHS tapes.
12. I know every word to Mean Girls
13. I have my secrets
14. I wish i could go back to middle school for like a week.
15. When i say i like Adele i mean i like more than "Rolling in the Deep" or "Set Fire to the Rain."
16. I have started to fall in love with 60s pop music.
17. I hate Lady Gaga as a singer/artist/performer, but i think shes a wonderful human being.
18. Glee sucks. A lot. its the lowest form of pop culture
19. I have every NSYNC album in my car.
20. I like Rebecca Black and am sick of all the hate....Where is YOUR song?
21. Chinese by Lily Allen is the cutest song in the world.
22. I hate Facebook.
23. Mrs. Weasley is a beast.
24. I love power rangers.
25. I just dont get Pokemon......

Sunday, September 4, 2011

lisa "left eye"/Poterr-memories/Harry hangover

so for starters my left eye(lisa "left eye" lopes. TLC. RIP.) has been twitching non-stop since like Wednesday and it's starting to scare me a little bit. Like what if i have some crazy eye problem? what if i have to have suergey? maybe I'll get a cool eye-patch, you know, like the girl from Kill Bill.

So i saw harry potter again today. It was still awesome (well as awesome as the movies can be, but let's be real. The books are whats up) but I'm an emotional wreck as I was the weekend of the premier. The fact that it's all over, no more books or movies. It's all very bitter-sweet. Pretty much for like a week after the preimer i spent all my time patching this giant wound that potter has inflicted on me since i was like seven. It was all patched and was going to take a long time to hear.....but now the wounds been open and I am all sad and depressed and have this urge to go to Hollywood and shout "NO. ITS NOT OVER I REFUSE FOR IT TO BE OVER!" but potter will forever live in my heart along with all the characters, minus Ron. He sucks. but to help me heal im doing two things

1.) watching Grease, cause you cant be sad while watching that movie.

2.) making a list of things wrong with the movie....

You CANT apperate inside of hogwarts. You just cant. end. of. story. Its an ancient enchantment that cant be changed just cause Snape is headmaster. Therefore, making a lot of the movie lies. Mrs. Weasley and Beallatrix's scene was still awesome, but a let-down. For starters they didnt use ALLL the dialouge, just Mrs. Weasley's line. When i read it i imagined it as the bad-ass fight between them and there were spells flying back and forth and "survivior" by Destiny's Child playing, but the movie did it differently and it just disappointed me...and the scene kinda just happened. but the thing that ticked me off the most was.....
YOU. CANT. APPERATE. INSIDE. HOGWARTS. Its impossible. you can't. the end. 

The Potter Memeories of Joey

other than that it was a great movie, but Im so sad its all over and am now an emotional train-wreck. That series was my childhood. Every movie and every book reminds me of a time in my life. I remember when the first few movies came out wating on my DIAL-UP internet connection to load the movie trailers for them all, which in case you dont remember dial-up internet, it takes like twenty minutes to load a 2 and a half minute trailer...dedication.

I bought the first movie on VHS at Kmart the DAY it came out and was so excited. Then i got home and the video was screwed up and wouldnt play and i BEGGED my mother to take me back to Kmart to get a new copy of it. I watched it like for the next week and a half. I bought the second one and watched it so many times i could recite it word for word. The thrid one was the first one i bought on DVD which I thought was cool. I almost wasnt able to see the fourth one in theatres because before i was going to see it i was hanging out in a KOL (its like america online, for kids) chatroom and everybody was ignoring me so i typed "this chat is gay im leaving." pretty much they suspened ALL of our accounts and my parents had to call and talk to the AOL people and i was in so much toruble and crying. Then they were like "you're not going to see harry potter!" and i cried and then like twenty minutes later my mom was like "okay, lets go." keep in mind i was in 6th grade. The fifth one really holds no special memory other than the fact its my favorite and came out in summer 2007, which has been my favorite summer (Amy Winehouse, Harry Potter, 8th grade. come on whats not to like?) The biggest regret of my life is not seeing the sixth one in theatres. I was in DUMB summer gym and never was able to go when i was invited. But im okay with it cause the 6th one was BORING for a movie, but unbeliveably mind-blowing for a book.

When part 1 of the last one came out last Novemeber i was in trouble for getting a spedding ticket and was grounded the weekend it came out. So i went to school monday and everybody was talking about it and i was like "SHUT UP I HAVNT SEEN IT I HATE MY LIFE." So then next weekend i was "un-grounded" and FINALLLLY was able to see it. Of course fate had other plans and gave me a flat tire, but that didnt stop me! i frikkin trudged Avril almost 3 and a half miles on a falt to the theatre. I was NOT going to miss this.

pretty much i love harry potter and am sad to see it go. I'll never accept its gone and will always hope for me, cause lets face it. Harry Potter is cool.

ALSO: if you have not read the books, then you arent a true potter fan. Youre a harry posser. So dont try not to be cause you are. Seriously, they're not that difficult to read, and using the pharse "I hate reading" or "I don't read" is just code for "Im to dumb to actually."

ALSOO: the song "You Don't Own Me" by Lesley Gore is playing on my Ipod and i shall now associate That song with these potter feelings forever.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

You're the slave that I want (pretend when you're reading this Im saying it in my excited planning voice, you should just know what that is)

This morning while I was hanging out in the commons and talking to Liz we somehow stumbled upon the movie Grease. Now anybody who’s see Grease is VERY aware of the last scene when Sandy gets all trashed up and ditches her values all to win a high school boy. So we imagined a different way of how the scene should go, and it goes a little something like this…

So sandy comes out wearing her skin tight leather teddy dominatrix outfit smoking a cigarette. And she’s all “tell me about it, stud.” She takes the cigarette and burns it out on her tongue; she goes over to Danny and licks his face. She then takes a cigarette from another student who is smoking (possibly knicky?) and does her classic *drop cigarette, stomp it out* scene which, I never realized until today, but every moment up until that scene I think in my head “stomp it out, bitch!” so then they start singing, and In my version of the movie there is a wicked mash-up between “You’re the one that I want” mixed with “I’m a slave 4 u.” I mean I can practically hear it now. Then they do that whole have sex in a carnival ride thing, only this carnival ride is like some sort of devil’s haunted castle or whatever so there’s fire and torches just everywhere and  they’re all sweaty but not gross sweaty, and Sandy’s always climbing all over Danny going “I’m a sssssslllllaaaaaaaavvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeee 4 u, you’re the one I want, I cannot control.” Seriously, I hear this mash-up in my head and it sounds more awesome than pancakes for dinner. At some point Sandy will have a big ass snake straddled around her neck and shoulders as she proceeds to dominate Danny. The Sandy takes her big ass bedazzled heels off and uses one of them to cut dannys face and licks the blood off him (twilight?) and the other she uses to rip/cut his shirt off (this just got to graphic for Joey. But I feel that was so well thought out I just can’t delete it.) Finally Danny grabs Sandy by the hair and drags her out of the devil haunted house by her hair and throws her in the front seat of his car and the two drive off in the sunset. Doesn’t that sound romantic? Like something out of a Nicholas Spark’s novel? Either way it’s a classic with a twist. Like Ten Things I Hate About You.


best. move. ever.